This past week we had conferences with out students' families to deliver the grades and discuss student progress. I enjoy parent teacher conferences as I learn so much about my students and how I am doing as their teacher. As such, I've given a lot of time to reflecting on this past parcial.
A couple of weeks ago I got the chance to sit down with our principal and volunteer coordinator, to discuss an observation she did and to just check in on my adjustment to life here in Honduras. When we got to the part of the conversation about daily life, I shocked myself by saying, "But I mean I'm really loving it here." In my head, I was like, "Did I seriously just say that? Do I really love my work here? I mean it's so difficult and the challenges never cease."
But, the reality of the situation is that I am or I at least want to. At the same time, however, it just seems like I can never catch a break. Can't I just have one week without a major hindrance, obstacle or challenge to surmount? Can't things just be calm, simple, and laid back for a little while? With each new challenge, I think this must be it, my last test of strength and courage for a while and then something new happens.
After this conversation I had one of the best weekends I've had here in Honduras. We had a bridal shower for my roommate Catie who is getting married in like 6 weeks when we go home for Christmas. It was such a celebration. I made homemade bread that I turned into cucumber sandwiches and I made raisin scones. All of the volunteers came over and we had a tea party. It was such quality time to just hang out and chat about life and everything but school.
That night we got back together to welcome a new volunteer, Andy to our community with a delicious meal of tajadas. Tajadas are like nachos. They are chips made from plantains and then topped with repollo and salsa and meat. So yummy. We got them at a place called the pink garage or Donde Vivia Erasmus. My students’ family also owns it. Afterwards we had more quality time as we got together to watch a movie. And then Sunday was filled with church and a baleada outing.
But then the end of Sunday came and I hit probably my lowest point since being here when one of my closest friends here decided to leave Honduras and go back home. She had been having a very difficult time adjusting to the Honduran lifestyle and unfortunately she had an insane class at school. She is such a beautiful person and I learned so much about life, God, and serving through her. She brought such a joyful spirit and light to our community here in Honduras that saying goodbye to her was extremely difficult on all of us volunteers. I still miss her presence everyday, but I also know that she needed to leave. Things were going so great and then Lucia left and sadness overcame everybody.
As I said things at school were going so well too. I felt like I finally got into a good rhythm with my all-stars. I finally had a plan and routine for my teaching style. We're starting centers and my kids are beginning to read (!!!!!). But, then I lost my aide. After Lucia decided to leave, my principal sat me down with the rest of my first grade team to inform us that she was going to have to pull my aide from first grade to cover 5th grade until a replacement was found. Peggy apologized for doing this, but felt that we were a strong team and could handle it. Which is true, we totally can. Rosa's (gosh I just love her) response to this was that we are and always will be a team and nothing will ever change that, just because Fanny is gone doesn't mean we won't continue to support Sarah and do what we need to do to be a strong team. Thank you Rosa!
So now school has been more stressful than usual. I was so used to our rhythm and pace of working with Fanny that I find myself losing patience with my kiddos when they don't understand me or when I don't have that extra set of hands to accomplish tasks at the same rate. Fanny's been teaching 5th grade now for 2 weeks and still no replacement teacher has been found. Rosa and Flor have helped me out so much and I am so grateful for all they do, but I can't wait to have Fanny back.
Then to top it all off I got sick this past week. Colds, congestion, and terrible stomach pains...gross. Feeling sick certainly doesn't help when you're teaching first grade solo either. I went to the doctor (a whole other story) and got some meds, so I hope to be feeling better prontisimo!
Not everything has been upsetting either. I feel like I am getting closer and closer to the Honduran teachers everyday too. This past weekend we got to go to a baby shower for our consejera, Sylvia who is having a baby girl soon. It was so much fun. When we walked in there was a big sign that said "Bienvenidos a Mi Baby Shower." They played lots of hilarious games. Catie and Laura entered a game in which there was a race to see who could chug the baby bottle fastest. I tied in the quarter game in which you had to dance with a quarter between your knees and drop it in a cup; unfortunately I lost the tiebreaker. But I mean I lost to Yoehly who is an incredible dancer. And during conferences this week I got to have a lot of quality time with Rosa and I feel like we are getting closer and closer.
But, it's just so frustrating because I just want to love it! I want to be my normal happy, go-lucky, joyful self, but it just seems like each week there is a new challenge that seems even more difficult to overcome than before. One week it's community issues, then Lucia leaves, next week I lose my aide, and then I get sick . . . I can't help but ask, "So, what's next? What awful thing is going to happen next to try and get me down?"
I definitely don't want to do this, which is why I've taken to repeating Mother Teresa's words daily.
I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. I know I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much.
If I know one thing it's that this year in Honduras is teaching me a lot about my faith and trust and I know that if (or should I say, when) another challenge does come my way, I will be able to face it firmly believing that God will give me the necessary tools and strength to meet the challenge and learn something new about myself/life/faith along the way. But as I do face these challenges, the prayers and support from home are much needed as well :-) So, please, keep the prayers coming. And, hey in 4 weeks I'll be home with the fam bam in Chicago.
As I also discovered at the conferences this week and during my reflecting, I love what I'm doing in the classroom here. It may be difficult, I may be sick, I may face issues with living, but I LOVE my students and I love watching them learn. One of the best part of the conferences that I noticed was that, with 95% of our students, the parents had positive things to say about the English and Spanish classroom. Also with the majority of students, we see the same issues in both classrooms, which really tells me that I am doing at least something right in my teaching. This past week too my kids were actually reading a story in their StoryTown books, how awesome is that!
A new parcial is here and with that new chance and new opportunities. Challenges, yes, but nothing that a little prayer, trust and faith can't help me get through.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3
Sarah, you are doing an incredible job! Last year I didn't even start my kids in their reading books until November, so just the fact that you have them reading at this point is a huge accomplishment. It's an incredible gift that you get to teach them how to do that. For the rest of their lives they'll remember that Ms. Nardozzi taught them how to read :)! Keep rockin' that positive attitude!
ReplyDeletemuch love, sarah! you will get through the tough times. i am so happy that you are getting a few more opportunities to engage with your honduran coworkers and other program-mates. i miss you though and wish we all could just hang and watch some friends episodes! those always help when you feel sick (that and some tea). mother teresa was a wise woman and her words are helpful. know that many people are praying and thinking of you! love, al
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